And Now for the Don’ts

Now for the flip side; here are some things you should try to avoid doing at
the table:

1. Don’t hog the spotlight: If there are four players and a DM at the table, you should assume that you’re entitled to about one-quarter of the DM’s time. If you insist on being the character who scouts every tunnel, tackles every puzzle, talks to every NPC, and dictates the strategy for every fight, you’re being a bore. You’re not the star of the show; D&D is a movie with an ensemble cast, so you have to expect that sometimes other players will get good lines too. It is usually okay to take point on something that your character is the best at, or to role-play a long conversation that is of vital interest to your character, but remember that you’ve got the spotlight, and it is good to share it.

2. Don’t disrespect the other characters: Squabbling over the best magic items in treasure hoards, stealing from inattentive allies, or even trying to kill your fellow party members are staples for the less ethical. Ask yourself though, who wants to use their leisure time to play in a game where their characters get robbed or killed, or, where arguments amongst fellow players are the norm? So don’t slip the DM notes saying that your 10th-level rogue is going to pick the fighter’s pockets when he isn’t looking. Don’t threaten to vaporize your allies with a disintegrate spell if they don’t let you have the +4 ring of protection the evil wizard was wearing. Don’t sneer at people, or run down their characters, or generally go out of your way to let them know how stupid you think they are for being in the same game with you. It doesn’t play well in real life, and it is just as unwelcome at the gaming table.

3. Don’t be a poor loser: It is natural to want to be successful in the game. When things do not go your way, try not to take it personally. Sometimes your character is going to get killed in horrific and spectacular ways. It happens. I am sure most of you have seen more than a few players absolutely enraged by the death of a beloved character. If you play a long-running campaign and get attached to your alter ego in the D&D world, it is only natural to feel disappointed when the game does not go your way. Try to remember, if your character is never in any real danger, there isn’t all that much excitement to any game. On occasion, you are going to have a character get mauled, because the other 90 percent of the time, it is way more exciting to be worried about what is going to happen next.

4. Don’t argue with the DM : The Dungeon Master is not infallible. Sometimes I will remember a rule incorrectly, or forget that you are delaying your action, or overlook an obvious plot hole in the adventure. It is accepted gaming etiquette to let the DM run the game as he or she sees fit. I put a lot of work into making the game fun for everybody else. Try to cut me some slack. That said, you are within your rights to ask a me to check a rule that you think I got wrong. If I insist that I am right, even though you know that under normal circumstances, you are correct, then you need to accept the fact that there are special circumstances of which you may not know. Please do not jump to conclusions and let your anxiety show through raised voices and looks of dismay. Let it slide, and go along with it. That way you don’t stop the game altogether and leave the other players sitting around waiting for the argument to resolve. You can always take up your point later on, after the game session is over. If you think that I am spectacularly wrong, spitefully inconsistent and that I refuse to ever be questioned, You will have to decide if you want to keep playing in my campaign.

5. This dovetails with the last “Don’t”. Don’t meta-game. A player is meta-gaming when he or she uses knowledge that is not available to his or her character, in order to change the way the player plays the character (usually to give them an advantage within the game), such as knowledge of the mathematical nature of character statistics, or the statistics of a creature that the player is familiar with but the character has never encountered. In general, it refers to any gaps between player knowledge and character knowledge which the player acts upon. There was an awful lot of meta-gaming at our last session, with challenges presented to me about why invisibility did not work against Grimlocks, or why a poisoned blade was still poisoned after an initial attack, or why someone was not able to see within the effective area of a darkness spell etc. I would maintain that as a player, it would be best to ask in a calm manner, “Is there a reason why my invisibility does not work against the Grimlock”, as opposed to yelling, “How can he attack me? I am invisible!”. And then making an off-hand remark about how ridiculous it is that you are getting attacked, even though you are invisible.